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I am not, nor have I ever been a
hobbit, Elf, Dwarf, Istari (Wizard),
Disembodied minion to the Dark Lord, Giant Frog-thing in the heart of Moria,
member of the cast/crew of LOTR, Watcher in the Water, single eye (hey - I always had dates!),
pony named Bill, forgetful bartender,
slimy grabbing *sneak* referring to myself in the third person
and spending a few hundred years in a cave.............
honest!
I do not own:
Peter Jackson, or his rather skanky beard
J.R.R Tolkien
The Lord Of The Rings
New Zealand
Orlando Bloom's underpants
:(
Sean Astin or Bean
The Elixir of Life
Billy Boyd (YET)
(He will be mine. Oh yes, he will be mine. - Wayne's World)
A pig named Fluffy
An elephant named Stampy
Viggo Mortensen's beads
A car
A DVD player, yet I have 2 DVDs... curious.
Obi-Wan Kenobi's skanky beard
An ill-tempered mutated seabass
Any pictures except the art work
Any naked pictures of Elijah Wood.
Sad but true.
Figwit. And if you even know who that is, you must be obsessed.
Guns. Lots of guns.
A pool with 3 pre-cogs in
Colin Farrell
:(
A large elephant with Ewan McGregor in
:(
A Jude Law robot (A.I.)
:(
A map showing the whereabouts of One-Eyed Willy's rich stuff
A pink VW Beetle
Gandalf's Beard
A large cave-troll
12 rooms, 12 vacancies...
A giant frikkin' "laser"
Any means of contacting the cast or crew of LOTR
:(
A Ringwraith, and it isn't under my bed. Honest.
I have never:
Gone up to a very old and powerful sword and thought
"OOH! I know! I'll test whether this sword is sharp by trying to cut my finger with it..........ow!"
Tickled a penguin
Molested a hobbit
Built you an army worthy of Mordor
Been hit in the head with an apple and looked quizzically up at the sky
Eaten an animal, dead or otherwise.
(Fish are animals, as are chickens, spiders and Conservatives.)
Wanted something rational (Alanis Morissette)
Been covered in bees
Built you an ark
Punched a baboon in the stomach
Known the whereabouts of the lost treasure of the Sierra Madre
Lit a firework in a tent (This was your idea!)
Fallen off a cliff and broken a carrot
Sat up a tree and pretended it was an Ent
Sung "I fell in love with a beautiful Ranger..."
(c) Cassie - I thought of that. Oh yeah.
Thought about Sam in that way. Don't be ridiculous.
Pippin, yes.
Quite often. Well, very.
Like right now.
Mmm.
Used a giraffe to lift someone out of a hole
I'm sorry for all the things that I've done,
and I swear I didn't do any of the things that I did!
- Minority Report
Jumped about screeching like a monkey... oh, wait.
It was drama! I have an excuse!
And Tim started it...
THAT RING WILL BE MINE!!!!
MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE I TELL YOU!!!!
MWAH HA HA HA HA
*breathe*
HA HA HA HAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
And the hands that hold it...
Mmmm, *sigh*
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